By Milli Thornton
DESTINY.
Quite a grand word, isn’t it? Something to live up to. Something to stir (or chill?) the blood.
On the other hand, sometimes it can be healthy to look at grand words and concepts from a fresh perspective to avoid stereotyping them. After all, we’re writers; words should be at our command—not the other way around. If right now the word destiny seems a bit intimidating in reference to your writing, let’s do an exercise to clarify the true definition of the word.
des ti ny [des-tuh-nee]
–noun, plural -nies1. something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune.
“Something that is to happen” does not play favorites with what type of experience creates a destiny. Only we humans do that with our preferences for certain outcomes. If the statement “my destiny is to be a best-selling novelist” sounds good but—in truth—makes you a little nervous right now, try this:
My destiny is to be a writer.
You may still have issues about how to write more often, how to feel like writing at the end of a long workday, etc. but at least you’ve simplified your destiny for the time being. Taking the pressure off ourselves by reframing our grandiose expectations (and then learning how to take baby steps instead) can work miracles.
“Something that has happened” can be used as a powerful reminder that you’re already living your destiny. Think about all of the writing you’ve done up to this point. Try to resist the urge to dwell on your usual dissatisfaction and, for the purposes of this exercise, view your writing as something that has already happened. Quantity and quality aside.
(Those two value judgments are often laden with the misperceptions we hold about ourselves. Misperceptions are part of our destiny only as long as we perpetuate them.)
Gaby Brimmer, a writer with a destiny
A friend of mine, George White, went into kidney failure, lived through a couple of painful years of dialysis and then received a kidney from his sister. George journaled his experiences on CaringBridge.org, touching many hearts with his humble wisdom. Power and success through writing can take many forms.
Many writers face bad luck. It’s what we choose to do with that luck that becomes part of our destiny. It may not always feel good, but the process of becoming a writer can actually be strengthened by the challenges we face. For the ultimate example of this, rent the movie Gaby: A True Story. The movie is based on Gaby Brimmer, a woman disabled by cerebral palsy who is unable to speak or move—except for communicating with her left foot. Gaby overcomes her physical limitations to become an acclaimed author.
In the movie, it comes across that Gaby felt she had a destiny. She was determined to live life on her own terms.
What is your destiny? Please leave a comment and share!
A very thought provoking post Milli. This feels somewhat like a challenge to me. It wakes up the creative juices in such a way that I want to pour out my heart about the way I feel when I’m writing a story. But the other side of the challenge coin is that I fear I will not live up to my own opinion of myself.
So to scale back the effusive dialogue in my head rather than getting myself in trouble with myself I decided to sit for a few moments and really Feel what I feel when I write, rather than Think about what I feel when I write. Sure enough, this grounded me enough to claim that my destiny as a writer is to:
~ entertain myself while also learning to express myself capably enough to also interest others and entertain them as well.
I feel that at this point in my writing career it is a lofty idea that I could have an impact on someone else’s life through my writing, but that is the subfolder to my folder labeled Destiny.
Thank you for sparking a challenge in me and I will leave you with a quote you have passed on to me that I keep close as a reminder when my writing knees are weak…
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” —Thomas Edison
Twitter: millivrstravels
Catherine, your comment is very moving. Thank you for sharing this so honestly. The way you grounded yourself before you wrote down your destiny is a great reminder to all of us: stay close to our baby steps. And that’s exactly what I was trying to remind myself when I wrote this post.
But I hope you don’t mind if I pop an imaginary cork and say CONGRATS! You posted your writing destiny online. That’s a beacon for the rest of us.
Thanks!! Bottoms up!! ;~)
This is a very inspirational article, and just in time for Nanowrimo 2010! I’ve just begun writing my novel, and as excited as I am to write it, I still feel somewhat nervous about the thought that my destiny is to be a writer. But I already AM a writer, so I don’t really need to be afraid, do I?
Thanks for sharing this! It’s a great reminder that I need to be courageous as regards my writing.
Twitter: millivrstravels
Lois, you’ve really nailed it. I think we all do that to ourselves. I posted this on Twitter just a few minutes before seeing your comment:
The “Li’l Ol Me” Syndrome: we tend to think everyone else has a more exotic background than we do.
Best of luck with NaNo. I know you’re gonna ace it!
Talk about kismet! I’m writing my editors corner for the next issue of WRWA’s newsletter. I came across Dorothy Dix’s Dictates for a Happy Life after I saw one of her quotes and wanted to know more about her. Really cool if you get a chance to check it out: http://library.apsu.edu/Dix/happy.htm
I’ve had just about the worst year of my life in 2010. At the beginning of the year, I decided to quit writing. I wanted to spend more time with my family. For nearly the whole year, I was barely on the computer. Little by little, more work started heading my way and I didn’t want to turn down the income, so I accepted, telling myself I’ll “only” do this job and nothing else.
Well, now that my life is back to some semblance of normal, I’ve come to realize all terrible things that have happened this year, have created in me an even greater need to write than ever before. I have this sensation of really knowing what I want to say now–but even better, I feel like I have license to say those things, as if going through the pain has broken the chains I put on myself. Does that make sense?
Anyway, this is a fabulous post, Millikins. I’m gonna spread the word!
Warmly,
lol 
Jenny:)
P.S. I typed all that with a DVD box balanced on my head–working on my posture
Twitter: millivrstravels
JENNY-BUG! I had no idea you had decided to quit being a writer. I actually decided that myself at two points during 2010–I was going to start a completely different career expressing other parts of myself–but then things always happened to avert that “kismet.”
Am I glad you showed up to share this story. And I’m SO glad you decided to come back. And, yes, I totally know what you mean about feeling you have a license to say the things you need to say. I’ll be more than interested to see what that is.
Thanks for the link. I’ll check out the Dorothy Dix angle.
(((hugs to you, Jenny)))
Wow, what a thought provoking and stimulating word. Destiny can be both motivating and inspirational to those who feel that they been pre-ordained to write or that they are driven by a higher calling to enlighten others with their words and ideas. It is such a elegant word which can justify our individual drive to write, despite the fact that the potential reward is predominately a self fulfilling need or drive instead of lucrative pursuit. In fact it may be our life’s shining purpose, or merely our attempt to leave our mark in the sand of live. I will refrain from in weaving in the burning word “desire” into this post but will stand at the ready for another opportunity.
Twitter: millivrstravels
John, I’m tantalized by your closing statement. Should I throw you an opportunity to live your writing destiny? I think I’ve got one you might like.
What a beautiful posting, and there are no limiitations, omly what we perceive in ourselves…
Okay, I have been having fun doing ‘other’ creative things, painting, decorating, cooking etc.. But you know what? This always releases some ‘stuck ‘something in me that sets free my wrinting. I suddenly have an ‘aha’ moment. I guess, writing IS my destiny and I love it!!!
Twitter: millivrstravels
Dee Dee, you’re such an all-round creative person. I love the color you bring to everything you do. I also love the idea of doing other creative things to get unstuck for writing. Glad you had the Aha! moment. Go for it!
I love this: “Misperceptions are part of our destiny only as long as we perpetuate them.” True. In fact most of what we believe to be true of ourselves is alterable if we simply stop believing the label. I find it is powerful to “act how I want to feel.” Act like a writer – write – and the first baby step of which you speak is done.
I also just have to say that Catherine’s comment that she fears she will not live up to her own opinion of herself is wonderful! So many of us are fighting our demons, trying to convince ourselves that we’re good enough, smart enough, talented enough. I absolutely love that Catherine has to live UP to her opinion. Yay!
Twitter: millivrstravels
j ~
“Act how I want to feel.” That says it all!
Hi J ~
Thanks for your comments!
I had an artistic mentor in my 20s whose passion was bottomless and I took my cue from him, pulling out all stops whatever I did. Hence, that sometimes too abundant enthusiasm led to guilt if I didn’t continue on that level and caused me many years of sleepless nights plus creativity killing battles with guilt.
I feel more comfortable with myself now that I’ve learned over time to be more conservative in my expectations of myself.
I think it took me so long because I thought I had to let the passion run like a wild horse in the field in order to sustain creativity, whereas the reverse turned out to be true for me. The more I have passion balanced with a bit of moderation, I find I am able to sustain until the end. (When the horse cuts loose and gallops away from time to time I pay for it in energy drain which takes me longer to catch up from.)
This also goes along with what you say: “Act how I want to feel.” I jeopardized my health AND creativity before, whereas now my reward is feeling better about myself and my health that leaves (mostly) consistent streams of creativity.
Since this passion coupled with moderation also affects my relationships in a positive way, my destiny to affect others with my writing (gulp is THAT difficult to say!) seems more attainable.
As a newly declared full-time freelancer, this article was really inspiring. I have always felt the draw of writing, but still worry about making enough money to support myself. This made me realize my writing is my destiny, and I need to make it work!!
Twitter: danapittman
My destiny is to share God’s love through the written word. To entertain and carry you away with my books. And to enjoy every single day of my life. I AM A WRITER.
)
Milli, thank you for this post. Thank you for being you because it’s the spirit of who you are that radiates through this post.
I’m hooked on Millivers Travels – best armchair travelog there is.
Im NOT crazy! I’m a WRITER
I am now outed!!! Yay! I’m a writer and proud of it. Milli’s FOW brought me out of the closet, I guess it is my destiny too.
Best thing is: Me ‘n Milla can converse in Ozspeak/Strine/Australian/Queensland and in a Nortern NSW accent. Our Milli’s a bit rusty on Canberratalk though – well I can’t speak Buckeye – so we’re equal there. :0)
For me, writing started as a desire, and the desire became a destiny as I grew more confident in my work and, in turn, I received more unsolicited praise for it. You know your vocation is your destiny when it “feels right,” when you feel in touch with your real self whenever you’re doing it. And you know it’s destiny when you’re willing to climb every obstacle and withstand any hardship just to keep it going.
When I held “The Crawlspace” in my hand for the first time, the joy I felt was like nothing I had ever experienced for any other achievement. I knew it was what I was meant to do.
Yesterday and today I read and reread the posts here. I am so inspired by the levels of commitment and willingness by all participants to claim your destiny. It is fun and nurturing to see how this subject is approached by each individual.
Thank you all for inspiring me!
Also, Milli – thank you too for your continuous support and wonderful ideas that spark the imagination!
Hi Milliver! Sorry it has taken me so long to write this but I have been chasing my tail and now I realize I should be chasing DESTINY! Reading everyone’s blog’s I’m feeling the energy of the ole 10K days. And now, thanks to Milli and several others I am a published author! Milli’s creative writing group from the Texas Hill country has come together and we have published our short stories and poems in a book. Dee is one of the Chicklets too. Guys, I have actually held the book in my hands, smelled the pulp and flipped the pages! This is where destiny has reached out and grabbed me by the strings of fate. Thank you Milli, Tom, Dee, Susan, Sue Ann and Mary Ann! You are all my destiny. I’m ready to start back on my Mikey Dog book!
And Milli, your description of Dee is spot on. She is the fairy dust in my life.
Milli, I love this post! There are many times that I tell myself that I’m not really a writer yet because I haven’t been published yet. Hell, I haven’t even gotten through half of my current WIP yet. When I finally get the chance to sit down and write, I often think I don’t have it in me. Then the destiny part kicks in and the words just start to flow. Thanks for the reminder that sometimes we just need to step back and look at how far we’ve already come.
Hi Milli – great stuff as usual and the question at the end of the article “What is your Destiny?” has provoked a question in my own mind. Is my desire and ability to write sufficient to create my destiny as a writer? If it is, why does it disappear so easily into the hidden recesses of my life’s commitments? If it is not sufficient, what else do I need to come up with to make sure that I don’t end up destroying my destiny?!
I think I am going to meditate on this today and try to figure out what steps I can take to help my writing flourish.
Milli, Thank you for a thought provoking article.
Roona