“What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” I think I live by this Tim Ferriss quote. It has become somewhat of a mantra when I’m fighting the urge to talk myself out of doing something for no other reason than being a scaredy-cat. No offense to cats, but sometimes I’d rather hunch my back, show my claws (that I don’t intend to use), and run.

Before you discount my posting or write me off, stop to consider what have you put off doing out of fear. I know I’m not the only one, and in most venture and circumstances I’m as fearless as a super hero. But under those rare occasions when I’m showing my claws and taking quick glances–ensuring that the coast is clear–it’s usually due to some underlying anxiety that I have to address before moving forward.

Here are a few methods I use to move past that all-consuming, action-halting FEAR.

1. Do It Anyway

That’s right.

I run into the burning building not stopping to acknowledge my fear or to consider the consequences. Now, this post is not advocating actually running into a burning building. It is, however, encouragement to write (blank)–the first chapter of your book, send that query letter, self publish your book. You fill in the blank.

Do the thing that is terrifying you most. Because in the end, you’ve normally worked it up to be more than it is. It will probably suck, but I am certain it’s not as gut wrenching as you’ve perceived. And most important, you would have jumped over your first hurdle.

Congratulations! (I’m standing at my desk clapping for you.)

2. Identify What’s Stopping You

Do you fear writing your book because of potential embarrassment? Have you declined on pursuing your dreams because you lack enough knowledge? Does self-publishing scare the bajeezes out of you?

We can make up all types of excuses. Write them down and determine which ones have merit. Then create a plan as to how you will address them.

But here’s the difficult, yet necessary next step, set a date.

You have to set start date for addressing the items on your list. This is not a free pass to wander about exploring your fears. As a result, you will have a deadline to assist with addressing your issues and moving forward. Adversely, if you fail to acknowledge your fears and take steps to alleviate them, you will soon amass new fears to accompany the old ones and your goals will seem further away.

3. Find a Buddy

I’m sure you’re thinking…a buddy. Yes, an accountability buddy. Find someone you can trust to hold you accountable for moving forward in your goals and dreams. You see, it’s easy to talk ourselves out of things that we haven’t shared with someone else. No one will never know you were supposed to be this super cool author rockstar, or that you are an exquisite storyteller.

However, when you share plans with another person it holds you accountable. You have to stand up and take charge or risk looking like a quitter or worse, a scaredy-cat.

Fear is the worse dream snatcher because the originating source usually lives within us. We can talk ourselves out of our best life or we can stand up and make it happen. Which do you chose?

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JA’NESE DIXON spends her days marketing professionals and businesses online and her nights writing. She is preparing for the release of her debut novel, Black Diamond, in June 2010. She’s an avid reader, crocheter, and music junkie, and the hugest Edward Cullen fan on the planet . . . (oops, did I write that?). Ja’Nese lives in Houston, TX, with her husband and two wonderful children. To learn more, visit her online at www.janesedixon.com.

Darryl Dawson

As many of you know, writing is a challenging process that can yield an overflowing cup of reward on many levels, but only if it is done well. There are very few writers who are born with the skill to move you with a work of total fiction, but it’s not an unattainable skill. With the right tools and teachers (and most importantly, the right attitude) anyone can write a worthwhile book and maybe even sell more than ten copies of it. But let me warn you; as hard as you try to write the perfect mystery, rom-com or science fiction epic, as glowing as the reviews of your work will be, as many weeks as it can hang on to that coveted number-one spot in The New York Times . . . you, my friend, will never be as good as Stephen King.

Stephen King is the best storyteller ever. Not probably, is. Period. End of story.

And no, I don’t want to discuss it because it’s not even debatable. Do you want me to go over how many millions of books he’s sold over the course of nearly 40 years, and how many of those titles were made into immensely popular movies? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

As you probably have guessed, I’m particulary fond of his short stories, and have only started on his most recent collection, Just After Sunset. Last night I read a story called “Rest Stop” that thrilled me as Stephen’s tales often do. In it, an author named John Dykstra who writes action-thrillers under the name Rick Hardin, is driving home on the interstate when he stops at a rest stop for a bathroom break. Just as he’s stepping into the men’s room, he hears a woman being violently beaten by her jealous man. As the sounds of sobbing, swearing and hand-on-face become louder and more distressing, Dykstra, a decent, practical man, finds himself compelled to stop the savagery, but isn’t sure if he can. He only knows the longer he waits, the more likely the woman would be killed right there in front of him. Having dismissed more rational courses of action, he assumes the identity and personality of Hardin, his hard-boiled, adventure-loving psuedonym. That should give you enough of a taste to make you go out and buy the book so you can see how it ends.

At the end of the anthology, Stephen provides a “notes” section to give his perspective on each story and how they came to be. He says that “Rest Stop” is based on an actual incident that happened to him in 2003 while driving on the Florida Turnpike.

It was that note that sparked the epiphany that I’m writing about now.

When you need those meaty plot points, those character quirks, those colorful settings that your fiction requires, your first step is to go outside. Step out of your house and your comfort zone and experience life. Okay, seeking out danger may be a little dicey, but like Mr. King sometimes you just step into those situations and a good story drops right into your lap. And when these things happen, take note of what the room or the space was like, what the people looked like, what sounds and smells were in the air and so forth, and more importantly, how you felt . . . and even more importantly, how all of those things changed as the situation unfolded. Great stories, like life, are in a constant state of motion.

The point is, life should always be your first inspiration. With that idea as your guide, writer’s block should be as easy to cure as a headache. Speaking of which, mine’s gone, thank you.

The Crawlspace

DARRYL DAWSON is the author of The Crawlspace, released in October 2009. Fear of Writing was very proud to once have him as a student of the Fear of Writing Online Course, where he unleashed his style of horror on us in all the best ways. You can experience more of Darryl’s writing on his blog, Darryl’s Crawlspace. To find out what makes him tick as a writer, be sure to read Darryl’s bio.

THE BIG SECRET about fear that gets under-used is that we writers have the perfect opportunity to use fear to our advantage.

Our fear helps us recognize and describe complexities where others would never even look. Combine this with a writer’s natural powers of expression and you have a huge, untapped source of energy for your writing.

You can road-test this idea using one of the Fertile Material writing prompts from Fear of Writing. While exploring the storyline, you’ll have a chance to lend some of your anxieties and complexities to fictional characters . . . and, rest assured, they will take over and know exactly how to use it! Characters can be bossy like that.

FERTILE MATERIAL WRITING PROMPTS: TWO FREEBIES

Here’s a good serious one to get you started:

Cliffhanger You’re out hiking in the mountains. Some shale slips under your feet, and suddenly you’re sliding down a steep embankment. Describe how you feel as you slide. It’s a rough landing and you are injured. How do your companions react? Are you calm or upset? Is your speech lucid? You need help right away. How can the nearest Search & Rescue team be notified? When they do arrive, how do you feel about your rescuers? Describe how they bring you to safety. What effect does this mishap have on your life?

Excerpted from Fear of Writing by Milli Thornton Copyright © 1999

Or, you can use one of the sillier prompts and give your characters exaggerated fears:

Roach Lover You are a cockroach sympathizer giving a speech at a rally for animal rights.

Excerpted from Fear of Writing by Milli Thornton Copyright © 1999

Have fun! ~ Milli

Thank you for participating!

Excuse me while I chomp your self-esteem

– The savage and critical voice in my head

– A humiliating experience that knocked the confidence out of me

– Not enough experience with actually doing some writing (so I have a hard time getting started)

– I’m surrounded by people who enjoy killing my dreams

– I’m surrounded by indifference

– I’ve got plenty of supporters but I don’t believe in myself

– I don’t believe in myself. Period.

– I have such high expectations on myself, it tends to stop me from even trying (in case I fail)

– My writing sucks; I don’t have any “natural talent”

– I’m not sure where my fear comes from; I just know my mind goes blank whenever I try to write

– I don’t have fear of writing (can’t see what all the fuss is about)

– Other (please specify)

If you don’t have a book or blog of your own, please don’t assume you’re not qualified to write for this blog.

Even someone with severe writer’s block who hasn’t done much writing yet is welcome.

Would you like to be a guest blogger? Please explore the topics below and choose one that most resonates with you. When you’re ready to submit, you’ll find my email address at the end of this post.

Thank you. I look forward to your submission! – Milli

IMPORTANT COURTESY NOTE

I never enjoy having to say no to a submission. This can be avoided by making sure you’ve thoroughly read my submission guidelines. In other words, I only publish blog posts suited to my particular audience.

For new writers: The tips provided in my article, Etiquette 101: How to Contact a Writing Website, will help you gain insight into the submission process while still doing it in a friendly, accessible place.

Profile of My Audience

My readers are looking for a certain kind of help and encouragement. They usually have an immediate need to get back in touch with the joys of writing. They need to learn to have fun again!

They’re often recovering from some kind of emotional wound (example: a harsh, humiliating critique or prolonged writer’s block) that has shut down their capacity for self-belief.

Experienced writers who show up often do so because they’re feeling jaded—they want to play and feel creative again.

Fear of Writing usually does not give advice on freelancing or about how or where to get published. The crux of the Fear of Writing method is to provide easy, fun ways to get some writing done.

This goal is accomplished (among other approaches) with the Fertile Material writing prompts. Although I’m not asking you to write about the prompts, it would be helpful to at least check them out. By seeing the prompts, you’ll instantly understand more about the Fear of Writing Philosophy.

Topics for Guest Bloggers

1. Some of the best blog material comes when you write about yourself and your learning experiences. Readers will love to learn from you—and possibly avoid some of the pitfalls you may have encountered.

Don’t be afraid to include a seeming failure that you can (or already did!) turn upside down to find the silver lining. Here’s an example from one of my own blog entries: Rocky Balboa’s Speech to Writers.

2. The themes I tend to stick to for this blog include

(i) fear of writing/writer’s block

(ii) creativity in general

(iii) inspiring others—and therefore yourself!—to get more writing done

(iv) coming out of the closet as a writer

(v) demystifying the intimidation factor of the literary world, the publishing world or anything else that might make us feel small as writers

(vi) a writing or creative success you’ve enjoyed that might inspire others to succeed *

[* Submissions that are blatantly self-promotional without providing value to my readers will not be considered.]

(vii) any revelations or breakthroughs that took place while participating in a 10K Day for Writers

(viii) tips or anecdotes about having more fun as a writer

(ix) anything that helps writers believe in themselves or remember that they’re not alone in their fears.

Some good examples of these topics can be found on the articles page at my Website. There’s a great one by Amy Anderson entitled The Writing Life: Fearing the Worst and one by me entitled The Healing Power of Your Writing.

Another good way to get a feel for what I like is to read blog posts from previous guests. You’ll find links for some of those in the Related Topics section below.

Happy writing! ~ Milli

Locate Milli’s email address for submissions

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RELATED TOPICS

How I Am Overcoming My Inner Critic and My Fear of Success (Lois Eighmy)

A Writer Kissed by Inspiration (Raff Ellis)

Inside the Heart & Mind of Blogger Sunflower Ranch

This might be helpful to others, so I admire her courage in allowing me to include her name on this post.

Also, I know a technique that Mindy—or anyone experiencing fear or writer’s block—can use to encourage a breakthrough. Watch for it in RELATED TOPICS at the bottom of this post.

Here’s Mindy:

“The closer I get to ‘10K Day,’ the more I am sweating. I haven’t produced anything over 1,000 words in a long time. I reached for my copy of FEAR OF WRITING and held it, white knuckled, reviewing all the reasons to just let it fly.

“I’ve been starting one story after another and dead-ending after a paragraph or two. I get started but find nowhere to go from there. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about the ‘where’ and concentrate on the process.”

UPDATE 6/18/09: Despite the fact that Mindy was deep into preparations for a trip she was taking the next day, she racked up 5,000 words during her 10K Day! During one of her check-ins, she said, “Eye opening things are happening.”

UPDATE 7/6/09 “This weekend I wrote 2200 words on my novel. I attribute my surge in writing to the 10K Write. Now I have 7200 words on my book. I plan on having a manuscript completed by the end of the year if at all possible. Thanks, Milli, for priming my writing pump. — Mindy”

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RELATED TOPICS

Writer’s Block? Use the Whiplash of Your Inner Critic to Make It Across the Drawbridge

Mindy’s writing blog

10K Day: Rules of the Game