Book & CD Store for Writers - Page 1
Welcome to our bookstore!
Here you'll find everything from fiction to writers' tool-books to movies about writers. We strive to make this a great mixture of fun books as well as books for the serious side of the craft.
We've planned the bookstore to make it visually appealing and easy to navigate. Use the Bookstore Overview and the Page Contents at the top of each page to find the books that most fit your needs.
We'll be adding new books on a regular basis, so don't forget to bookmark this page. Enjoy!
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Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment.
—Stephen Covey
Bookstore Overview
FoW Fiction and Non-fiction
—Includes the Award-Winning E-Book “Become a Workshop Presenter”
Banishing Writer's Block
Painless Punctuation & Grammar and Other How-To Books for Writers
Make Money at Writing
Promoting Your Book/Website
Movies, Fiction & Other Fascinating Stuff About Writers
Bookstore Contents - Page 1
FEAR OF WRITING AUTHORS - FICTION & NON-FICTION
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Available from Amazon.com:
The Greatest Potatoes (children's book)
Stark Knight (action adventure)
Lessons In Stalking . . . Adjusting to Life With Cats
Available from Word Nerd Press:
The Whiffy Secret
Street Legal
The Devil's Darning Needle - free e-book
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About the Fear of Writing E-book project
E-book Policies and Help With Downloading
For questions about the e-books:
“The Greatest Potatoes”
by Penelope Stowell
Feast your eyes on the world's most delectable disaster!
George Crum is the very best fry cook at Cary Moon's Lake Lodge Restaurant. When Cornelius Vanderbilt, the richest and most rancorous man in America, returns from France, everyone panics. Vanderbilt has been known to shut down restaurants that aren't up to his culinary standards.
But George Crum isn't moved, until . . . Vanderbilt repeatedly sends his potatoes back to the kitchen. And George decides that if Vanderbilt wants a bad potato, well, that's exactly what he's going to get! The result is the tastiest, most scrumptious, potato haute cuisine ever invented and a riotous picture book
Based on the true story of George Crum, an African American fry cook in 1853 at a restaurant in Saratoga, New York. Potato chip recipe included.
Reading level: Ages 4-8
Hardcover children's book: 36 pages
Illustrator: Sharon Watts
Meet the author: Penelope Stowell
Note: The e-book policies referred to on this page do not apply to The Greatest Potatoes, which is a hard cover book and has a separate publisher.
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“Stark Knight”
by J.R. Turner
“The Mexican desert is hot as hell . . . and things are only going to get worse.”
Knight Inc. has a new mission—find a medallion, stop a madman, and rescue the boss. That makes this one personal. When clues leading to the extravagant ballroom of the wickedly wealthy uncover a devious plot disguised by the flow of champagne and false charity, Stark and Knight dress to kill. Tempted by sultry Panama, they find bombs aren't the only thing igniting this dangerous paradise. But deep in the tomb of an underground lair, the risk will become deadly as they fight to save the world and the one man they call family.
Acquisition and recovery has never been so important.
Paperback: 236 pages
Genre: Action Adventure
Meet the author: J.R. Turner
Note: The e-book policies referred to on this page do not apply to Stark Knight, which is a paperback and has a separate publisher.
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“Lessons In Stalking . . . Adjusting to Life With Cats”
by Dena Harris
If You Own A Cat You Must Own This Book—Dena Harris is known as “The Erma Bombeck of Cat Writers”
Cotton mice found doing the dead man’s float in the water dish . . . 5 AM wake-up calls . . . a “no-closed doors” policy . . . the cat declares a holy war when put on a diet. Lessons In Stalking hones in on the wildly different responses the author and her long-suffering spouse have to a life shared with cats.
In no other cat book will you find such riveting accounts as:
- The Great Cat Butt-Wiping Adventure
- Jingle Ball Horrors
- The Creature Under the Fridge
- Yoga Cat
Genre: Humor/gift book
Meet the author: Dena Harris
Note: The e-book policies referred to on this page do not apply to Lessons in Stalking, which is a paperback and has a separate publisher.
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“Become a Workshop Presenter”
by Milli Thornton
Includes 42 color illustrations
Winner (e-book category) at the 2004 DIY Festival
Just looking at the table of contents, I KNOW I will enjoy learning from this e-book. You’re a jewel, Milli!
—Sandy Fleming, Pipe Creek, Texas
Find your passion and teach it!
You don't have to wait for someone to ask you to teach what you know. Learn the baby steps to becoming a workshop presenter . . . you never know what it will lead to! There are many reasons for setting out on this adventure: including promoting a book or other product, overcoming shyness, career advancement, and just plain old-fashioned fun. You will be amazed at how many skills you'll learn—or rusty skills you will dig up—by getting up in front of people to talk about your passion. Written by a shy person who DIA (did it anyway).
E-book - 120 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 1.3 MB - $21.00
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Table of Contents
— THE REWARDS OF BEING A WORKSHOP PRESENTER
— WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WORKSHOP AND A LECTURE?
— YOU KNOW SOMETHING THAT OTHERS WANT TO LEARN
— NAMING YOUR WORKSHOP
— DEVELOPING A FORMAT FOR YOUR WORKSHOP
— HOW TO PRODUCE EYE-CATCHING AND EDUCATIONAL HANDOUTS
— HOW TO WRITE A PROPOSAL FOR ADULT EDUCATION VENUES
— ADULT EDUCATION VENUES THAT WILL GIVE A BEGINNER A CHANCE
— HOW TO ORGANIZE AN INDEPENDENT WORKSHOP
— GAIN EXPERIENCE AS A SPEAKER BEFORE YOUR WORKSHOP DEBUT
— HOW TO TEST YOUR WORKSHOP ON WILLING GUINEA PIGS
— SPREAD THE WORD (CHEAPLY!) ABOUT YOUR WORKSHOP
— DESIGN AND PRODUCE A PROFESSIONAL WORKSHOP BROCHURE
— YOUR MAILING LIST AND BROCHURE MAIL-OUTS
— MORE ABOUT PRESS RELEASES AND WHO TO SEND THEM TO
— TEACHER AND STUDENT, COME PREPARED
— DEVELOP A PRODUCT FOR "BACK OF THE ROOM SALES"
— TIPS FOR RUNNING A SMOOTH WORKSHOP
— INJECTING FUN INTO YOUR WORKSHOP FORMAT
— TESTIMONIALS WILL SELL YOUR WORKSHOP TO FUTURE PARTICIPANTS
— THE FUN OF LEARNING NEVER ENDS: INDEX OF RESOURCES
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Excerpt from: BECOME A WORKSHOP PRESENTER
Copyright © 2003 Milli Thornton
From Chapter Two: “What's the Difference Between a Workshop and a Lecture?”
A WORKSHOP IS more about audience participation than is a seminar or lecture. For instance, say you're a pottery expert and you've pioneered a new method for glazing and firing. You may be asked to give a scholarly talk on your discovery to a group of university teachers. But a workshop where the same art teachers get to hear the inside secrets and try it out for themselves—with clay and glaze and kilns—may be a more satisfying approach.
Lectures are useful for large groups of people when it's more appropriate to do most or all of the talking yourself. For a lecture, you may stand behind a lectern in your business suit and use an overhead projector to illustrate your major points. A workshop is for smaller groups where participants can "get their hands dirty" and learn by doing, interspersed with mini-lectures from you . . . usually in less formal clothing and in a more relaxed setting.
Artist John Farnsworth of the Farnsworth Gallery teaches the Watercolor Equus for Taos Art School. This four-day class teaches the watercolorist to "capture the spirit of the horse both in motion and in repose." John also teaches a method using only the primary colors—red, yellow, and blue pigment—to simplify the palette by mixing the desired colors and shades in lieu of buying endless tubes of paint. John teaches the Watercolor Equus in a barn with a live horse. Students watch the animal in motion as they paint the horse in its different moods.
Is John teaching a seminar or a workshop? Does the terminology even matter? I think it does. The word "workshop" should conjure images of play or involvement with the workshop material.
One definition of seminar is a group of advanced students working under a teacher in a specific subject of study. So, when teaching workshops for the general public, it's probably best to leave the seminar structure to university professors and design material that's not too narrow or specialized. Especially when first starting out, your workshop format should be accessible to beginners. Farnsworth's teaching style embraces a range of talents: from those just beginning to dabble in watercolor to those who've grown frustrated after becoming entrenched in a certain method or habit using watercolors.
A lecture may last for only an hour or two, whereas workshops can last for half a day to a weekend—and sometimes even a week. You'll get a feeling for how long yours should be once you've followed the steps laid out in this workshop tutorial.
As a workshop presenter, you can concentrate on being less of a talking head and more of a demonstrator. Develop plenty of exercises for your students, supply them with the materials they'll need to try it themselves, demonstrate how to do it, and then give them some space—a no-talk zone—and let them get their feet wet.
If your style really lends itself to more of a seminar or lecture format, you can still use many of the principles in this e-book to help you develop and promote your class. There's nothing inferior or superior about either style; it's simply a matter of what works best within your time restraints and with the learning materials, if any.
Phil Jones is an Australian musician who tours the USA presenting workshops on an ancient Aboriginal wind instrument: the didgeridoo. Phil provides each student with a didgeridoo and, during the course of an evening, gets everyone puffing and blowing and making music—a fine example of a hands-on workshop exercise.
Read the rest of the chapter in “Become a Workshop Presenter”
Meet the author: Milli Thornton
E-book - 120 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 1.3 MB - $21.00
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Please Read Our E-book Policies
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Publisher not responsible for virus protection on customer's computer
Goods and services provided by The Word Nerd (TX, USA)
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services provided by Milli Thornton dba The Word Nerd
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Return to Contents - Bookstore Page 1
“The Saga of Joelene the Bean”
Illustrated Cat Humor
An e-book by Milli Thornton
Join Caster and Camille as they run the gauntlet of true horror.
“Help! Joelene the Scrubbing Bean has invaded the night! She's not only frightening to look at, she knows how to let the Closet Monster loose—and how to kill it and bring it back to life over and over again. Oh, if only our Beans would listen when we communicate, but there's no one to help us.”
Discover Joelene's horrible secret for a clean shower stall and how to expunge cat hair.
Meet the author: Milli Thornton
26 pages (no scroll formatting)
28 illustrations - 542 KB - $4.50
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Publisher not responsible for virus protection on customer's computer
Goods and services provided by The Word Nerd (TX, USA)
2Checkout.com (Ohio, USA) is the authorized online retailer of
goods and services provided by Milli Thornton dba The Word Nerd
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“The Whiffy Secret”
An e-book by Milli Thornton
James Perlman is the archetypal “Bah, humbug” dude at Christmas time; a burnt-out advertising exec with no time or inclination to have kids of his own. Why would he want to play Santa to a pack of snotty-nosed brats?
Meanwhile, his boss doesn't care whether James will do it with love in his heart or not—he's simply on the roster. But when James dons the familiar red suit, strange and unexpected changes come tip-toeing in.
Now, making a privileged girl called Divinity happy becomes uppermost on his list of priorities. But Divinity knows a little secret that could get Santa into big trouble.
34 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 495 KB - $4.50
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Excerpt from: THE WHIFFY SECRET
Copyright © 2003 Milli Thornton
EXCERPTED FROM PAGES 14 - 15
The child, about five years old, is a boy with a sandy buzz cut and puppy-sad brown eyes. He is feeling shy in front of Santa. He twists his feet into grotesque positions and stares down at them, as though his feet will somehow be his salvation. He is leaning on my knee exactly where the kind, over-perfumed elf left him. I feel his tiny but never-theless strong fingers digging into my knee—a classic symptom of nerves.
I'm feeling nervous too. I feel exposed and overrated. A crowd of expectant parents and adoring kids seethes beyond the rope boundary, waiting for me to make their dreams come true. I feel like an inadequate red whale with fur trim and a fake beard. I feel poorly equipped to star in endless photographs with the children of strangers, let alone be an accomplice in disappointed dreams.
With the sick feeling that all my actions are stage-managed and phony, I lean down to the little boy at my knee. While I gently disengage his burrowing fingers from my smarting flesh, I use my softest voice to ask him his name. He hesitates for a beat.
"Bernard."
His eyes remain downcast, and his feet are buckled and deformed. But he has stopped fidgeting. His body is still, poised for another word from Santa.
"Do you want to know a secret, Bernard?" I whisper, bent to his ear.
Bernard's feet undergo a miracle cure. They're once again sturdy and aligned, planted firmly on the floor of Santa's sleigh. He keeps his eyes on the ground but his ear cocks ever so subtly toward my mouth, waiting for the secret.
Besides nerves and inadequacy, I now feel panic and guilt. How on earth will I come up with a secret glorious enough to rival the fantasy world Bernard sees on TV? Why did I do this to myself? Why not just be a gruff, impatient Santa—a Santa with a vested interest in getting to the end of the line as fast as possible—instead of a neurotic one with a bleeding heart?
There's no time to charm and cajole each child who comes to my knee. I've been allotted three hours of sleigh time, and the line already goes around the Ferris Manheim circular stage and disappears beyond Tofu Trading Post—that health food café Adrienne drags me to for Sunday brunch when I'd much rather be sleeping and dreamless.
Before I can control my impulses, I lean closer to Bernard's ear and whisper the fatal secret. . . .
Read the complete story in “The Whiffy Secret”
Meet the author: Milli Thornton
34 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 495 KB - $4.50
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Publisher not responsible for virus protection on customer's computer
Goods and services provided by The Word Nerd (TX, USA)
2Checkout.com (Ohio, USA) is the authorized online retailer of
goods and services provided by Milli Thornton dba The Word Nerd
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“Street Legal”
An e-book by Penelope Stowell
Bikers Down Under
Past Woolgoolga, past the bend in the road where Feral Flora lives in an old tin water tank, behind a derelict hippie commune, on a road that nobody travels, the Russian motorcycle enthusiasts of Australia gather to exchange stories of the road, bike parts, and—sometimes —lovers.
For years, he's been trying to catch up to Beekers, biker chick extraordinaire, with her old Russian/Ariel hybrid. Is this finally their year, or will the wobbegong wail of the road—and Zaundra, a just-eighteen daughter of bikers— come between them?
Crack open a tinnie and 'ave a go at this, mate.
Meet the author: Penelope Stowell
21 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 408 KB - $3.50
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Please Read Our E-book Policies
The Word Nerd's e-Store - All Rights Reserved -
Publisher not responsible for virus protection on customer's computer
Goods and services provided by The Word Nerd (TX, USA)
2Checkout.com (Ohio, USA) is the authorized online retailer of
goods and services provided by Milli Thornton dba The Word Nerd
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“Arabesque in Blue”
An e-book by Jayni Therkildsen
lyric prose - short stories & vignettes
What is writing but a conversation with our secrets?
This collection of tales, tone poems and word dances is a glimpse into the hidden world that arose during Therkildsen's first two years of participation in the Santa Fe Fertile Material Writing Circle. It's a retrospective woven together by random connections; surprises; the knowing and the known; the being and the becoming.
For, after all, one day is a poem. One day is a short story. One day is a rainstorm of liquid images spilling across the page. But all are born of the same source. . . .
127 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 609 KB - $5.00
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Table of Contents
— SIBERIA RAIN
— SATURDAY MORNING
— RITUAL CLOTH
— 1941
— COLD OATMEAL AND BURNT TOAST
— HOLIDAY CAVITIES
— THE STORE DIFFERENT
— DINER DAYS
— ARCHIVAL LIFE
— THE FERTILE CRESCENT OF THE INTERSTATE
— COURTROOM FEVER
— BAH, HUMBUG
— COOKIE CUTTER
— ONLY HUMANOID
— FEATHERED LIES
— HERBS IN THE ETHNIC STEWPOT
— FREE SPIRIT
— INDIGO HEART
— BLUE
— ORDINARY AND FREE
— POSSESSIVE CASE
— SHE'S MINE
— SLEIGHT OF HAND
— YIN/YANG
— THE DEVIL'S DARNING NEEDLE
— DOUBLE-WINGED
— 2001
— 1963
— ROACH LOVER
— CHEZ PRIDE
— FLATTERY
— MANGO POISON
— TANGLED UP IN PINK
— MUCHO MACHO AND THE FLUFFY SLIPPER
— RADICAL ROLE REVERSAL
— ROCK STILLNESS
— RAKING UP THE WORMS
— MATRIARCH CITY AND THE MUD PIE PALACE
— THE MOON-PIE PALACE
— NIGHT MUSIC
— AMBER IS FOR CAUTION
— STORMS
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Excerpt from: ARABESQUE IN BLUE
Copyright © 2003 Jayne Therkildsen
THE FERTILE CRESCENT OF THE INTERSTATE
INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS—broken white lines dotting the horizon. Coal black surfaces melting—asphalt babies in the summer sun. Shimmering heat waves dance on the surface—wispy vapor fairies in the afternoon sun. A quiet, secret ceremony of the highway sun—long blue highways—under crying clouds; slick, shiny surfaces where rubber tires slide on dreams—
skid on memories left behind . . . behind in rest stops—in gas stations—general stores where dry goods stand stacked on old wooden shelves dusting with time-dimming visions of childhood . . . a corner store in a fading neighborhood . . . a child walks along the sidewalk of a busy four lane road, clutching two silver quarters in the palm of her hands. Coins for the barter of dreams—a loaf of Wonderbread—white-spongy—a slice a fistful of dough. . . . Play Dough, without color, without secret, dough to be rolled and molded, not toasted. A quart of milk in a glass jar, red lettering on the front; Elsie the cow smiling with horns held high on her head. Wearing a dress of yellow and white—a daisy—somewhere a daisy of a cow grows in a pasture—a meadow of childhood.
A treat for buying groceries—a copper penny left in her hand. Her eyes search the dark corner . . . there by the door stands the gum ball machine —the doorman—a security guard from another planet with colored popcorn ideas rolling and popping around in his transparent head. His barrel-chested cherry red torso perched upon a tarnished leaden pole—an armless, one-legged, one-footed creature that met a seven-year-olds' gaze eye to multi-colored eyes. A nose that turned clockwise and a pouting, extended lower lip into which was spit a brightly glazed gumball for each penny his slotted nose could snort. A guardian standing before the roadway—coloring the black road surface that extends forever into neon-colored toys in a cradle of the interstate.
Read more lyric prose in “Arabesque in Blue”
Meet the author: Jayni Therkildsen
127 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 609 KB - $5.00
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Please Read Our E-book Policies
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Publisher not responsible for virus protection on customer's computer
Goods and services provided by The Word Nerd (TX, USA)
2Checkout.com (Ohio, USA) is the authorized online retailer of
goods and services provided by Milli Thornton dba The Word Nerd
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“Only the Wise”
An e-book by Theresa O'Connor
short stories & vignettes
Who is sending Connie flowers? What's it like to be a humming-bird at a Bed & Breakfast? Meet a budding writer trying to escape his family's expectations.
Next meet Minerva and Zeus . . . an unlikely pairing; the quintessential love/hate relationship, if you will. Experience humility in the face of serendipitous good fortune, and Grandma and Grandpa Fleming on a health kick. Talk about being overworked—you may recognize yourself in the cautionary tale, “Pajama Day.”
These stories could belong to anyone.
57 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 297 KB - $3.50
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Table of Contents
— ONLY THE WISE
— CURIOUS ABOUT FLOWERS
— GURU GROOVE
— RELUCTANT SURVEILLANCE
— FLYING SLAVE
— A DAY IN THE LIFE
— MODERNISM IN THE RAW
— THE QUIDDLERS
— DOUBLE VISION
— TWIN PARADIGMS
— FORTUNE SMILES
— PAJAMA DAY
— BECOMING A STAR
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Excerpt from: ONLY THE WISE
Copyright © 2003 Theresa O'Connor
FROM PAGES 10 - 11
Zeus is just unbelievable. As always, he blows into the room. This time he has knocked into a leg of the end table sending a full cup of tea, with saucer, smashing to the floor. Cindi is startled at first but, soon after, both she and Howard are laughing so hard they are crying. Boy, does this rile me. How can they let him get away with such inane behavior?
Zeus has lived with us less than one year and has destroyed countless treasures with this reckless behavior, yet he is still here. Even after Zeus has left the room his mayhem is still felt. The soft conversation is gone, replaced by uncharacteristic laughter and talk of how entertaining and adorable he is. Day after day my sanctuary is destroyed and they laugh, encouraging this behavior.
Zeus and I, how did we end up in the same household?
Read the complete story in “Only the Wise”
Meet the author: Theresa O'Connor
57 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 297 KB - $3.50
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Please Read Our E-book Policies
The Word Nerd's e-Store - All Rights Reserved -
Publisher not responsible for virus protection on customer's computer
Goods and services provided by The Word Nerd (TX, USA)
2Checkout.com (Ohio, USA) is the authorized online retailer of
goods and services provided by Milli Thornton dba The Word Nerd
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Return to Contents - Bookstore Page 1
“Once Upon a Blue Moon”
An e-book by Sandra E. Schairer
short stories & vignettes
CAN ELLEN MACREADY actually "order" perfect weather for her big graduation party? Meet Magician Mordicai who sells weather spells.
What caused FIB Agent Coyote to see strange things in suburban Maryland on his latest S-File?
See how Bob achieves his 15 minutes of fame (or does he?) and be with Ghafir as he rides the desert sands of Arabia.
Funny characters who take themselves seriously, serious characters who think they're funny. Enjoy the ride and fasten your seat belts loosely, leaving plenty of room for wackiness and laughter.
127 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 661 KB - $5.00
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Table of Contents
— ABRACADABRA
— ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR
— CAFÉ TOULOUSE: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
OF THE FOOD KIND
— COLD-BLOODED?
— COLD OATMEAL & BURNT TOAST
— DEAR MURPHY
— DREAMS YOU NEVER DREAMED OF
— DRINK ME
— A FREAK OF TIME
— GENGHIS: SIT UP & BEG
— HERMIT CRAB
— HOW MANY KARATS?
— IDIOT ON THE BOX OR BOB'S 15-MINUTES
— LITTLE HABITS
— A NOBLE BED OF NAILS
— ONLY THE WISE
— PAJAMA PARTY
— PLAY BIG
— RADICAL ROLE REVERSAL OR JUST CALL
ME SONNY
— SHOOTING STAR
— SPACE CADET
— STAGE FRIGHT
— A THOUSAND AND ONE SWORDS
— VOICES FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE
— VINCENT: GENTLE GUIDE
— THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER
— WHO, ME?
— THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER
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Excerpt from: ONCE UPON A BLUE MOON
Copyright © 2003 Sandra E. Schairer
Excerpted from: “DRINK ME” page 41
SPECIAL AGENT COYOTE Moulder of the FIB tossed his cell phone onto the car seat next to him, made a sharp left turn without the green arrow, wishing he had a red flashing bubble-light to stick on the top of his car like the local authorities so he could cut through this bull-hockey traffic.
"Where the heck is Diana?" he said out loud as he swerved to prevent rear-ending a driver coming to a dead stop while turning into a Burger King. He'd left the office at the FIB on an urgent call, forgetting his overcoat in his rush, thinking he could get his partner Diana Scurry to meet him at the scene. He'd tried her office phone, then her cell phone. No answer. He doubted she'd be at home in the middle of the day, but he'd try her home phone next.
Assistant Director Skinny, his supervisor, had given him a new case knowing full well it was not a S-File (short for SON--triple I--PET or Security of National Importance in Investigating Possible Extraterrestrial Threats.) Moulder suspected someone wanted him out of the building. No idea why.
As Moulder caught the Washington Beltway headed for the Maryland suburbs his cell phone rang. He made himself wait until he'd gotten off the ramp and safely into traffic, before he picked up it up.
"Moulder."
"Moulder, where are you? A.D. Skinny told me he'd sent you out on a call to…let's see…Greenbelt, and expected me to be with you. He nearly jumped down my throat for offering an explanation."
"I know Scurry. Somebody wants us out of the building. Come on out here. I'm on my way to the Legion Hall in Greenbelt." He gave her the address and tossed the phone aside again to concentrate on driving and wondering why Skinny wanted them both out of the office this afternoon. It would be rush hour soon, and Moulder didn't care for the prospect of driving back to his place in suburban Virginia at rush hour in one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the country.
As he located the Legion Hall and pulled into their parking lot-a dirt field along the side of the old, low-roofed building, Moulder muttered, "Happy hour," in his usual cynical attitude and exited his vehicle. He checked his waistband for his service revolver. Yep, it was there, fully loaded.
When he got inside a blast of smoke hit him in the face and a blast of country western music hit him in the ears. "Yee-haw," he said under his breath in derision as he went up to what appeared to be a bar. Some legion hall. He glanced around at some patrons in the darkened room. A lone man at a miniscule table at the back of the room, two men were sitting in a booth with beers in front of them-bottles not glasses.
One guy was sitting up at the bar with a mixed drink in front of him. He was playing with the cherry in his glass with the swizzle stick. Moulder didn't see anyone tending bar. He went up to the bar, stood next to the man drinking and eyed him in the mirror behind the bar. The man eyed him back.
"Bartender here?" Moulder asked.
"Lookin' at him," the man said as he started to rise from his bar stool. "What'll ya have?"
He looked Moulder up and down and took in Moulder's loose fitting navy blue suit, white shirt, plain navy tie, and FIB regulation black shoes and black socks." Moulder felt like a schlep, and he knew the guy knew he wasn't a veteran or a legionnaire. He reached in his inside pocket, grabbed his badge case with his ID and held it up.
Before Moulder could say Special Agent Coyote Moulder the bartender said, "Oh, yeah, the F. I. and B. guy."
"You called the FIB?"
By now the man was behind the bar mixing a drink which he put in front of Moulder.
"Thanks, but no, thanks. On duty."
"It's soft. Raspberry-Grape," the man said.
"Oh, okay." Moulder sat on the stool and took a big sip of the juice. Not bad, no whiskey for real. "Thanks." Took another sip, asked the bartender, "What's up?"
Just then the man's head began to puff up like one of those balloons in a carnival game where kids shoot a stream of water into a spout to pop a balloon. "Uh…" Moulder said trying not to show alarm. He glanced around the room, suddenly paranoid, and saw that the tables were all full now.
Seated around the room at tables together sipping beer were two alligators and a zebra. Where the men had been seated in the booth before, were three women, one surely the fat lady from a circus, and a very small midget or one very ugly baby with a mustache. Moulder looked down into his juice glass and asked, "Circus in town?"
"No, that would be the Shriner's. We're the American Legion. Different dudes."
The music began to get very soft but as Moulder strained to hear what he thought was voices muffled under the electric guitar melody, the music got suddenly loud. Moulder winced in pain as the door slammed open and a flash of daylight ushered in none other than his partner Diana Scurry. He waved her over and returned his hands to positions over his assaulted ears.
"Can you turn down the music, buddy?" he yelled to the bartender.
Scurry was at his side."What are you shouting for, Moulder?"
"The music."
Suddenly it was quiet. Not a sound in the room. Moulder realized he'd gone deaf. The man behind the bar and the bizarre animals and circus folk were pointing at him and laughing in mime.
He shouted in alarm, "My God, Scurry, I've gone deaf."
"You don't have to shout, Moulder. I'm standing right here."
Read the complete story in “Once Upon a Blue Moon”
Meet the author: Sandra E. Schairer
127 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 661 KB - $5.00
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“Horse Sense”
An e-book by Penelope Stowell
In the centerpiece “novelleta,” meet the average people of Port Macquarie: a bus driver who gets inadvertently high on coffee; teenagers Versace and Crispin who manage to turn a carwash into a reason to get arrested; gentle Leopold, the giant who can squeeze through the tiniest of spaces; and Gary Peachy, nice guy and all around sap.
In other stories in this collection, you'll meet Ghafir, member of the secret society of Il Hamdullilah in Cairo; Lindy Hop and her best friend Yarrow Stalk who encounter strange happenings in the Metropolitan Museum of Art; Jano, violent prison cellmate of “The Writing Teacher”; and Maggoty Hay, effusive and clueless horse-owner of the title story of this e-book.
131 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 665 KB - $5.00
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Table of Contents
— VIVA LAS VEGAS
— STREET LEGAL
— BLIND LEMON PLEDGE
— LIVING NATIVITY
— THE WRITING TEACHER
— PICTURES OF THE MUSE
— ENOUGH
— THE WRONG KNIGHT
— FEAR OF WRITING CIRCLE
— LEAVING CAIRO
— THE 78TH ANNUAL CROYDON DOG SHOW
— PERE NOEL
— THE WAY IT IS IN PORT MACQUARIE
— HORSE SENSE
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Excerpt from: HORSE SENSE
Copyright © 2003 Penelope Stowell
COFFEE
3:30 am. The effin clock radio alarm gargles into life. It sounds like someone ran over it and threw it into a tin bucket half full of water.
I feel like I've been hit with one of those electric stun guns they advertise on late night TV—just the thing for the single urban woman who watches too many reruns of NYPD Blue. I pull the blankets up over my ears, trying to make it all go away, trying to regain my breathing, trying to bloody well find my way back into my body.
The clock radio is screaming out, "I Will Survive." I hated that song back when it came out and it hasn't gotten any better in, what, 23, 24 years. Isn't it the Lakota who say that one's spirit leaves the body while sleeping? One should never be awakened abruptly, they say. Or maybe that's a Cherokee story.
The creators of thumbscrews and iron maidens and the rack would have been proud of the inventors of the alarm clock. It's the Spanish Inquisition at 3:30 on a dark morning with Gloria Gaynor carrying on about changing the locks on her door after her no-good boyfriend tries to move back in. Well, duh. Anybody with half a brain knows that. That, or move. Me, I just moved. It was easier than getting him to shift his butt off the sofa to throw him out. I just packed up and left during the third game of the world soccer championships. I swear he didn't notice I was gone until the games wrapped up ten days later.
The bloody bastard radio is not going to turn itself off. It's got a teeny-tiny off-on switch. That's why I bought this one, instead of a model with big buttons, so that I'd have to turn on the light and find my glasses to shut the damn thing up. Before, I had the kind with snooze control, but I got too good at punching it in my sleep. I used to keep it set to a classical station, too, Music Through The Night, which was great music to go to sleep by, but no good at waking me up. Hence, Gloria Gaynor at 3:30 am.
My bus route starts at the Port Macquarie Senior Center at 5:00 am.
—Excerpted from “The Way It Is In Port Macquarie” and based on a mix of Fertile Material prompts: Decaf DUI, Wash Me, Tonsil Tickler, Escapism, Bleeding Heart, As Juicy As They Come, and Utopia
Read the complete story in “Horse Sense”
Meet the author: Penelope Stowell
131 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 665 KB - $5.00
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“If Wishes Were Horses”
An e-book by Penelope Stowell
Twelve-year-old Katie Callahan and her beautiful Arabian horse Dancer have a freak accident and switch bodies. Can Andy, Martin, and Lily find a way to change them back to their original forms before it's too late? And will it be science that saves the day—or magic?
An original children's novel for ages 8-12 by children's author Penelope Stowell. Penelope's mainstream children's book, The Greatest Potatoes, is also available in this bookstore.
165 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 786 KB - $3.50
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Exceprt from: IF WISHES WERE HORSES
Copyright © 2003 Penelope Stowell
KATIE COULD HEAR voices around her, men's voices talking, Andy's voice answering, the sounds of move-ment, occasional distant thunder. The air smelled of electricity and rain and damp earth and wet horsehair. She felt numb all over.
She was shaking. Her throat was dry. Her teeth ached. She could feel metal with her tongue. Her braces must have slipped. The inside of her mouth tasted like she had been eating batteries.
Eating batteries, she thought to herself. That's a good one. I must remember that.
She tried to open her eyes, but everything looked funny. Everything looked - flat. She couldn't get her eyes to focus. It was as if she were looking at two different photographs of the scene around her, instead of one complete, three-dimensional picture. She tried to speak, to tell somebody about her eyes, but nothing came out.
The flapping yellow slickers around her filled her with a sudden, uncontrollable sense of panic. What were they doing to her? She felt so odd! Her head seemed so far away from her body. She couldn't feel her fingers or toes.
I'm in shock, she thought. This must be what shock is.
She felt someone tugging at her, and she struggled to get to her feet. Suddenly, she was on her hands and knees.
But she wasn't on her hands and knees, she was really on her feet—or something.
Katie looked down at herself. All that she saw were Dancer's legs. Was she still on her horse? The paramedic seemed too short to her. She felt him pat her on the shoulder, heard him say, " There's a good girl, now, take it easy, now, there's a good girl."
Katie looked around and saw a girl on a stretcher, in a helmet, with a collar around her neck.
That's me, thought Katie wildly. I'm dead.
But she wasn't dead. She was standing, and people were talking to her. "What's going on?" she screamed out. "What's happening to me?"
All she heard was a horse neighing, somewhere close by, right in her ear.
Then Katie knew.
My wish at the Portals of Zandria came true.
She looked down at the long chestnut legs, the slim hocks, the shiny black hooves. I am inside the body of Dancer, she said to herself, and stumbled.
I'm not me anymore.
I am . . . a horse!
Read the complete children's novel in “If Wishes Were Horses”
Meet the author: Penelope Stowell
165 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 786 KB - $3.50
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“Budgeting Made Simple!”
An e-book by Milli Thornton
Featured on the “Books & Resources” page at
Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Orange County
“I hate budgeting! Budgeting really sucks. But so does spinning out of control with my finances. Arrgh! where on Earth do I start? Everything's a mess and I'm no good with numbers. . . . ”
If this sounds like you then a good place to start is with this handy e-book. The author used the methods described in the book to save enough money (as a single mom on a shoestring budget) to move from Australia to the USA in 1997.
Included also are actual case scenarios of successful refunds under duress, plus assertive debt management under fire. Eliminate your junk mail too!
79 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 452 KB - $4.95
You can get started even faster by downloading this 3-page worksheet:
Your Monthly Budget & Discretionary Spending AllowanceThe worksheet will tell you, within about 10 minutes, whether you need to read the e-book to help repair your financial picture.
TO DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET: Right click on the red link above and choose Save Target As. Save the worksheet to your desktop for immediate access.
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Table of Contents - BUDGETING MADE SIMPLE
— RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM
— THE A-B-C's OF PERSONAL BUDGETING
— THE FULL [MONTY] BUDGET EQUATION
— SHOULD BANK ACCOUNTS HAVE SEX?
— HOW TO SET UP YOUR MB4-XP52 SYSTEM
— BALANCE TRANSFERS FOR LOWER INTEREST
— DEBT CONSOLIDATION IS FOR LOSERS?!
— JUNK MAIL: DON'T BE A PACIFIST!
— THE FINE ART OF GETTING A REFUND
— 7 SECRETS FOR HANDLING A “BLOW-OUT”
— WE ALL KNOW BULLIES LIKE TO BLUFF
— ARTICLES YOU SHOULD READ NEXT
— INDEX OF URLS USED IN THIS E-BOOK
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Excerpt from: BUDGETING MADE SIMPLE!
Copyright © 2003 Milli Thornton
RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM
BEFORE WE DELVE into the simple mysteries of budgeting, let's get ourselves in the mood by saving some money. We are going to play a trick on Ye Olde New Year's custom; namely, making a resolution. Don't wait for December 31 to make yours.
For a short time only, be prepared to modify a habit or a hobby that you know is draining your finances. Make it something simple that you KNOW you can do, and then get organized before you start. So, what are the biggest stumbling blocks the average person self-inflicts when it comes to New Year's Resolutions?
1) Trying to change too many things about your life at once
2) Rushing into it with no preparation
3) Choosing a huge, 25-year-old vice to eradicate—instead of a small bad habit to modify (i.e. make one small, positive change “for now”)
For example, Pamela Lattébergen, 34, is addicted to expensive espresso. Every morning during her thirty-minute commute she stops at Holy Moly, It's Java Time!'s drive-through window, where she orders up a triple mocha-donut café latté brevé, “tall,” with macadamia-vanilla infusion and a cinnamon stick on the side.
This Hollywood dream product costs Pamela a fat $3.25 every morning.
“So what?” I hear you say. “Let the girl have her coffee in peace.”
But $3.25 multiplied by nine (yikes, Pamela consumes *two* on Saturdays and Sundays!) comes to a weekly total of $29.25. And that's not counting the bagel or fancy croissant she tells herself every morning she will resist, but never does. After all, this is breakfast and she needs something more than coffee to fill her belly.
When Pam took a straight look at her finances, she was shocked at how much she was forking over every week to the Holy Moly café. Her pal from yoga classes, Tabitha Tofu, helped her formulate a sensible plan of action.
Read the complete chapter in “Budgeting Made Simple!”
Meet the author: Milli Thornton
79 pages (no-scroll formatting) - 452 KB - $4.95
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“The Devil's Darning Needle” - a free e-book
by the Santa Fe Fertile Material Writing Circle
Fertile Material short stories by writers in Santa Fe, New Mexico
Spend a creative evening with six members of the Santa Fe Fertile Material Writing Circle. The writers explore a single Fertile Material writing prompt and share their freshly inspired raw material with you, from the comic to the poetic, from the deep South to fantastical lands, from the scientific to the magical. Find out more about how Fear of Writing works and meet six of our Guest Authors through this free sampler e-book.
Meet the Writers' Collective
Easy to Download * Formatted for Easy Reading * No Scrolling * No Small Fonts
39 pages - 352 KB
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“The Devil's Darning Needle” is a free e-book
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About the FoW E-book Project
Note: The exceptions to the project guidelines expressed below are Milli's non-fiction e-books, Become a Workshop Presenter and Budgeting Made Simple, and her e-book of illustrated cat humor, The Saga of Joelene the Bean.
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THE E-BOOK PROJECT began because Milli had health problems and, for several years, had to give up her role as workshop presenter for the Fear of Writing Clinic. She was looking for a way to keep operating FoW at home, even while she went into deep hermithood.
To qualify for the project, authors needed to have a collection of stories and/or poems based on the Fertile Material prompts. This was not difficult, as Milli and the Santa Fe Fertile Material Writing Circle had been using the prompts weekly for over two years to write new stories.
With the Fertile Material, the emphasis is on fun, laughter, creativity and sharing. Regulars of the Fertile Material writing circles spend many memorable hours writing stories and then reading them aloud to the group in a supportive environment.
Milli does not allow critiques as this is about encouraging our imaginations to thrive. The stories in the e-books are published as they were written, without re-writing, to demonstrate the power of unleashing our imaginations in the moment without fear of editing. She has the same policy for submissions to the sequel (Son of Fear of Writing).
Except for Theresa O'Connor (from the Taos writing circle) and Sandy Schairer (from the Albuquerque writing circle) you can see all of the e-book authors in the photo. To meet the e-book authors individually, visit the Published FoW Authors page. Each of the individual e-book listings will also lead you to these profiles.
Word Nerd Press is the business name Milli uses to publish her various Fear of Writing books and workbooks. Before purchasing, we recommend that you read our E-book Policies and also our Safe Shopping page. You can sample our e-book project by downloading the free e-book by the “Writers' Collective” shown in the photo (The Devil's Darning Needle).
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